Social Anxiety and Me

“Face your fears and they’ll go away” Well that’s easier said than done.

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Photo cred : Tino Nyandoro

Hey Lovelies

So what is social anxiety?

Social anxiety is the fear of  interaction with other people that brings on self-consciousness, feelings of being negatively judged and evaluated, and, as a result, leads to avoidance. It is the fear of being judged and evaluated negatively by other people, leading to feelings of inadequacy, inferiority, embarrassment, humiliation, and depression.

Source : Social Anxiety Institute

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Photo cred : Tino Nyandoro

So where am I going with this? Over the last 3 or so years I have become more withdrawn and conserved. I always thought it was because I lived on my own in uni so I had a lot of “me” time. I was my own company and my friends laughed when I used to tell them I’d play by myself, like a little girl would do with her dolls. That was me. And that is how I discovered my love for DIY. I spent my time on all things creative. I do not regret this though because that has shaped me into the woman I am becoming and I quite like her. But it really affected my life socially.

I am only discovering this now. Last year, one weekend a friend of mine visited SA from Zim and I spent the weekend with him and friends. When we were home, and it was just us (the people I was familiar with) everything was great. I was this fun person and it was all smiles and laughter. And then we would go out and meet up with their other friends. I would do a total 180. I would not speak. I could not speak. I would just giggle if someone said something funny and that was it. I tried, I really did. And I didn’t know what was wrong with me.

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Photo cred : Tino Nyandoro

Fast forward to this year. I have attended events where I would try so hard to be normal. It worked in some cases and I did talk to people but deep down I was scared. Scared of saying the wrong thing, scared of embarrassing myself, scared of not being good enough. Some words wouldn’t come out right and I would stutter. Weird right, because for those who know me, that just isn’t me. These last couple of weeks I had been really having a hard time with this whole life thing, and I had no friends to turn to here in Zimbabwe. I was lonely. I am lonely. I can’t bring myself to throw myself into a crowd of people and just BE. Laugh, dance, share. That thought alone scares me.

Anyway, this last Saturday, there was Unplugged (An open-air entertainment event). I had decided not to go because I didn’t have anyone to go with. My friend Chiedza convinced me to just come and after some thought and self-convincing I went. By myself. It wasn’t so bad. But I still experienced the anxiety through my smiles. The people I met there were really accommodating and I am so grateful. I doubt they knew anything that was going through my mind or how my heart was racing the whole time!

So here I am, realising what may be wrong with me and making the decision to face it. It would be easier if I had a friend by my side but perhaps this a part of the journey that I need to face head-on.

Hey social anxiety! You will no longer have a hold on me!

Anyway, til’ next time! Let’s have fun, discover and share!

-Tete

Here are a couple of snaps from Unplugged

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Photo cred : Tino Nyandoro

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Me & Tino Nyandoro 🙂

You can get in touch with Tino Nyandoro here:
TinoNyandoro Photography
IG : @TinoNyandoro
Twitter : @TinoNyandoro

16 Comments Add yours

  1. quinncove says:

    Good for you, girl! Take charge ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. tetehumba says:

      Thank you☺ I’m sure I’ll be okay

      Like

  2. desnornicole says:

    It seems that every post you put up echoes some of my experiences and thoughts. It is weird but I am going through the same thing. I love being alone and I tend to stay home. Going out is daunting to me because of all the reasons you mentioned. Which is strange because we both know who I am when I am very comfortable. Right now I am trying to confront my social anxiety by asking myself what I am really anious about? What could possibly go wrong and why would it be so bad if it did happen? What could go right? Can I avoid the bad incidents? How can I make the interaction worthwhile or enjoyable? I had to deal with all this since I moved to a new City and knew just about no one! I am getting better and I will share some of the funny stories with you. Let’s look back on this by the end of the year and laugh when we are now social butterflies!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. tetehumba says:

      Desnor! Thank you. I should probably try that too. I think for me, its the rejection that I can’t handle. I total close off once rejected. I’d rather be withthe few people that actually appreciate my presence you know. And i find that being either with my immediate family or just alone. Those are my safe spaces. It’s so difficult to navigate and I dont even know where to start. I hope I do become a social butterfly one day.

      Like

  3. Nesu says:

    This is awesome. Thank you for sharing. You will be amazed how many of us can relate to this ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. tetehumba says:

      You’re welcome. 😊 I know yet I thought there weren’t many of us. At least I now know that there are people I can get through it with.

      Like

  4. i can relate to this article in so many ways and i do understand what you going through… though i’m still trying to get over it i find it hard to go out by myself or even go out and i can be all over the place and the next minute i just want to be by myself and the world can miss me… I need a remedy for this as i find it hard to be out there even though i want to be

    Liked by 1 person

    1. tetehumba says:

      Yeah! Thats exactly it? Find it hard to be out there eventhough we want to be. I guess the first step is admitting and accepting that this is how we are. Now we can find ways to fix it. I wish I had answers though. I’m reading more about it and hopefully I can find them. We will be alright as long as we are willing to try. 😊

      Like

      1. So true do send some stuff my way sonic can read also

        Liked by 1 person

      2. tetehumba says:

        I will! Thank you for reading💜

        Like

  5. I’m totally the same in social situations. With close friends, I feel very vibrant and alive. But when I meet new people, I just shut down. I come off as being snobby (once I even overheard someone I just met call me a bitch) but deep down I’m just anxious.

    Glad to find you on here!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. tetehumba says:

      Thank you for reading.😀 And yes its not an easy situation. It’s been better since I wrote the post. But I’ve got a long way to go!

      Like

  6. Lucy says:

    Wow…this is so profound and only those who have gone thru it can relate. …my exact life experience.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. tetehumba says:

      Truth! And those who don’t go through it never really understand. But we’ll be alright! How do you deal with it when it happens? Or prevent it?

      Like

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